


Didn’t know it then but I want to know now

by Jens



Series: Zukka week 2021 [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Oblivious Sokka (Avatar), Post-Canon, Zukka Week 2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-23 21:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30061566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jens/pseuds/Jens
Summary: He allows himself a moment to imagine. What would it be like to kiss Zuko? Would his lips be as warm as the rest of his body? His long hair would get everywhere so Sokka would tangle his fingers into it, brush it over his shoulder, and his other hand would rest on Zuko’s waist, gentle and reassuring. Zuko would lean up (Sokka is never going to stop feeling smug about growing to be taller than Zuko, let him live) and his hands would cup Sokka’s cheeks as their lips press together -Oh fuck.
Relationships: Sokka & The Gaang (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Zukka week 2021 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2215410
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	Didn’t know it then but I want to know now

**Author's Note:**

> betaed by [envillapilo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/envillapilo)
> 
> title from All your sons and daughters by Matthew Good (listen... I have terminal Matthew Good brainrot and that's really all you need to know about me as a person)

Sokka doesn’t hate the Fire Nation, not anymore, but he’s still not exactly a fan. If it weren’t for the fact that Zuko’s kind of stuck there, what with being the Fire Lord, he definitely wouldn’t visit with any regularity. But when Zuko sends him a letter, inviting him for a visit? He’s on the first boat to the Fire Nation. Or the first Appa, as the case may be.

(Aang doesn’t appreciate the joke - “there’s only one Appa!” - and spends most of the trip sulking.)

The Fire Nation isn’t actually so bad. At least not when all the members of the gaang are there for a reunion after - wow, has it really been almost a year since everyone last got together? Time sure flies. Sure, he’d never, like, want to live there permanently (how anyone can put up with the ridiculous temperatures is beyond him) but that doesn’t mean these short visits aren’t enjoyable.

Besides, they rotate the location for these meetings. Sokka is really looking forward to hosting everyone at the South Pole again. Especially Toph, what with her aversion to wearing shoes, which doesn’t work too well with the sometimes brutal cold of the South Pole.

Zuko isn’t there to greet them when Appa lands but Toph and Suki are. For Suki it makes sense; she and the other Kyoshi Warriors have spent the last 5 or so months working at the palace as guards. As for Toph, it wouldn’t be the first time she’s come early just so she can spend more time with Zuko. Their attachment to each other is honestly still something of a mystery to Sokka but he’s not one to question it out loud.

They sit at the courtyard, trying to take shelter from the sweltering sun as best they can, as they wait for Zuko. Aang idly airbends a cooling breeze and everyone groans in appreciation.

 _Definitely not moving here_ , Sokka thinks.

“So has anyone gotten hot since we last hung out?” Toph asks casually. 

Sokka gasps in mock offense. “Excuse you, I’ve been hot since we met.”

Suki snorts. “No one’s hot at 15.”

“Says the girl who dated me when I was 15. Also, you were _definitely_ hot back then.”

“That’s... somehow both kind of creepy and flattering at the same time? Thank you.”

“So everyone’s still ugly? Figures.” Toph heaves a long-suffering sigh. “At least I don’t have to witness any of it.”

Katara huffs. “Shut up Toph, for all you know you could be the least hot out of all of us.”

“As if. I’m way too cool to not be hot.”

“So the rest of us are ugly _and_ uncool? Really feeling the friendship here.”

“Deal with it, Snoozles.”

“Deal with what?” Finally, Zuko has made his appearance. Sokka knows he must be busy with all the Fire Lord stuff (not that he knows what exactly that entails) but he could at least make an effort to come greet his friends in a timely manner. He’s about to berate Zuko on it when Toph speaks up.

“That I’m the hottest one in this friend group.” Toph pauses to consider. “Well, you’re probably hot too, Sparky.”

Zuko flushes pink and Toph grins at him. Sokka glances at the others, ready to roll his eyes with them, but they all seem quite amused. Really? No one else has a problem with this?

“You can’t decide Zuko’s hot just because he’s your favourite!”

Her grin turns sharp. “So you think he isn’t hot then?”

The sudden tension must be Sokka’s imagination. Right? This is just normal banter among friends. And Sokka can admit his friends are hot, that’s no big deal, he’s just never properly thought about it before. Maybe he should do it now, to get Toph off his back.

...weird tension or not, everyone _is_ staring at him, which, yikes. So. Is Zuko hot?

He looks up to find Zuko already looking at him, still a little flushed. He’s certainly got pretty hair, long and shiny, and quite a nice face, even with the scar. And Sokka’s seen him without a shirt when they spar together, okay, and he’s man enough to admit Zuko’s got a nice body too. In conclusion?

“He’s hotter than you for sure.”

Toph makes an offended noise while everyone else bursts into laughter. The redness in Zuko’s cheeks is deeper now but he’s laughing with everyone, even as he grabs onto Toph’s arm to keep her from earthbending Sokka deep into the ground. 

Sokka catches Zuko’s eye over Toph’s shoulder and they grin at each other. If there’s a weird jolt in his chest, it must be just because it’s been a while since he last rode Appa.

*

Dinner is a loud affair, as is usual with the six of them. Everyone’s trying to catch up at the same time and speaking all over each other, and it feels so much like the days they spent together during the war that Sokka gets a little misty.

He’s happy at the South Pole, honestly, and he obviously doesn’t miss the war itself, but there are times he wishes he could’ve stayed with his friends like this forever. Keeping in touch over letters just isn’t the same.

“So, how’s working in the palace?”

Suki thinks for a moment. “Pretty great, actually. I’m so glad I wasn’t here back when Zuko first became Fire Lord and had all those assassination attempts, I would have died from stress. Now that it’s more peaceful, being a guard’s mostly a formality.”

“So you get to do nothing all day? Can I become a guard here?” Toph asks.

Suki turns to Zuko with a grin. “What do you say, Fire Lord? Would Toph be a good addition?”

Zuko laughs a little. “I think she’d be a wonderful addition. But wouldn’t it get boring, with nothing to do? And haven’t you been planning to open that metalbending academy?”

“Ehh, I could put that on hold for a few years. Besides, don’t you think people would want to learn metalbending even more if their teacher was the Fire Lord’s former guard?”

Sokka snorts. “What, being the best earthbender of all time, the inventor of metalbending, _and_ one of the people who ended the 100-year war aren’t enough merit for you anymore?”

“The more the better,” Toph replies flippantly.

The conversation dissolves into cacophony again after that and Sokka takes a moment to look around the table. Katara and Aang are leaning close together; Sokka suspects they might be holding hands under the table, which, oogie. Toph is leaning across the table, gesturing wildly to Suki, both wearing wide grins on their faces.

Sokka watches them for a moment, feeling a soft smile take over his face. Then he turns to Zuko at the head of the table.

The look on Zuko’s face is - content. Like there’s nowhere in the world he’d rather be. Sokka looks back around the table, at everyone else, and agrees. He loves his home and family back at the South Pole above everything but this, being surrounded by his closest friends, is a very close second.

When his gaze drifts back to Zuko, Zuko is already looking at him.The softness is still there but now all of it is _just for Sokka_ and it’s too much, no one can possibly deal with being looked at like that - Sokka can’t hold Zuko’s gaze.Instead he grabs the first item he can reach from the table, ignoring the sudden jolt of alarm in Zuko’s eyes, and stuffs it into his mouth.

It’s... fire flakes.

It takes Suki pounding on his back for several minutes for Sokka to be able to breathe normally again. Everyone has moved to sit closer to him, equal parts worried and amused; Zuko is hovering in the background and Sokka can’t bring himself to look at him directly, partially out of embarrassment and partly because he’s weirded out by his own reactions.

Seriously. What is it with him today?

*

After dinner, everyone splits to go to their own rooms. Toph grabs Suki’s arm and insists she escort her to her room, even though it’s the one she always sleeps in when she visits and as such she definitely knows her way there already, and Aang and Katara are... somehow already gone, leaving Sokka and Zuko alone. Normally, that’d be fine, two friends spending some quality time together and all that. But now, Sokka’s brain keeps reminding him about how he nearly killed himself with fire flakes and, for some reason, also about the conversation in the courtyard earlier. Well, one specific part of it.

Is Zuko hot?

There’s no one else around now. No one to laugh at Sokka if his eyes linger on Zuko, trying to assess him because - Sokka has eyes, okay. He can see. And it is a fact of life that Zuko is, actually, quite attractive.

(Apparently, Toph agrees with that. Somehow. She might have also said that just to get a rise out of Sokka, which wouldn’t be all that surprising.)

And now that he’s really looking at Zuko, he suddenly... can’t stop? It’s not the casual, _my friend is kinda hot, good for him_ , kind of looking either. That kind of looking Sokka has done plenty of in the years he’s known Zuko. No, now he finds himself drawn to the way Zuko’s hair shines in the dim light of the torches on the wall, the curve of his cheek-

Zuko clears his throat, and it could be just the lighting but Sokka could swear his cheeks are a little pink. “It’s been really great to have you guys around again. It gets lonely at the palace sometimes.”

Sokka blinks, trying to ground himself. He’ll have plenty of time to think about the potential hotness of his friend when he retreats to his room. Alone, not getting distracted by Zuko’s... anything. “You should take more breaks! I see everyone else a lot more than you. Well, I guess I haven’t seen Suki that much since she started working here.”

Zuko’s smile dims a little. “It’s... not exactly easy to take time off when you lead an entire country.”

“Right, of course.” Sokka swallows the disappointment that swells in his chest. “But you’re always welcome at the South Pole, okay? Just come whenever.”

Zuko looks startled for a moment before melting into another smile. “I will try to take you up on that offer more often.”

“You should! You work so much, I always worry one day I’m going to get a letter saying you collapsed because you forgot to eat or get enough sleep. Seriously, even powerful people need to practice basic self-care.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

They walk down the hallways in amicable silence for a while and Sokka is, as always, struck by the sheer size of the place. How does Zuko not get lost, like, every day? Then again, he grew up here. If anyone would know their way around the palace, it’d be him. Sokka too would stop feeling so lost every time if he came here more often. 

“Sokka.” Zuko speaks up again as they approach the spot where Sokka will turn right to get into the guest wing and Zuko will continue straight to reach the royal bed chambers. There’s something in Zuko’s voice, in his gaze, that feels significant, like he’s about to do something life-changing, and Sokka finds himself holding his breath.

But then Zuko blinks, the torch nearest to them flickering with it, and the moment is over.

“Thank you for coming,” is all Zuko ends up saying before disappearing down the hall. That - does something to Sokka.

Suddenly, inexplicably, he wants to chase Zuko down, grab his shoulders, push him into the wall and -

And what, exactly? Something friends don’t usually do, he’s fairly sure. Him and Zuko most certainly don’t. And Sokka hasn’t been involved with anyone since Suki, he’s probably just pent up. Or then, and this is a scary thought, he wants to do things to (with) Zuko specifically because it’s Zuko.

He allows himself a moment to imagine. What would it be like to kiss Zuko? Would his lips be as warm as the rest of his body? His long hair would get everywhere so Sokka would tangle his fingers into it, brush it over his shoulder, and his other hand would rest on Zuko’s waist, gentle and reassuring. Zuko would lean up (Sokka is never going to stop feeling smug about growing to be taller than Zuko, let him live) and his hands would cup Sokka’s cheeks as their lips press together -

Oh fuck.

*

Okay. So Sokka _may_ have had a slight crisis about Zuko and stayed up most of the night thinking about him. But he’s fine now! Really, totally, honestly fine. So fine, in fact, that he skips breakfast because he’s just vibrating with this weird energy (that is definitely actually sleep deprivation) and he doesn’t want Zuko to think it’s about him like he always does if someone’s acting weird. And Sokka’s not going to freak him out for nothing. Because he’s fine, he just needs some time to organise his thoughts.

So instead of meeting up with his friends, he wanders down the halls with no specific destination in mind. The library, maybe? He’s always found learning about new things calming, spending a few hours reading about anything might be just the thing he needs to distract himself right now. Or maybe - wait, is that -

“Katara!”

She turns sharply at the call of her name, rushing over to Sokka. “You weren’t at breakfast, are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah! Great!”

Katara looks at him with concern in her eyes. Okay, so he badly needs sleep and food, but he also needs to talk to someone because the intensity of his sudden feelings for Zuko is honestly killing him.

“I’m good, seriously. Just... didn’t get much sleep.”

She frowns. “Is it the climate? You could’ve just said no when Zuko invited you, I know you don’t do well in the Fire Nation-”

“No! Nothing like that.”

“Okay?”

Deep breaths now. He’s going to pass out soon for about five different reasons but he has to get this out before that happens. “I, uh. I think I might be in love with Zuko.”

Katara gives Sokka a long look. “ _Think_ you _might_ be in love with Zuko?”

“That’s... what I just said.” Although with no emphasis on any of the words, unlike Katara. She snorts. “ _What_?”

“Just - you _might_ be in love with Zuko?”

“Will you stop repeating it like that-”

“What do you mean ‘might’? You _are_ in love with him and it’s about time you realised that.”

“ _What?!_ ”

*

One near mental breakdown, a nap and a late breakfast later, Sokka decides that he went to the wrong person. Of course Katara would make fun of him, that’s what sisters _do_. Aang, on the other hand...

“I think I might be in love with Zuko.”

“That’s great!”

Sokka blinks. Aang keeps smiling at him, cheerful as always.

“Uh, that’s it?”

“...yes?”

“Like, you’re not going to tell me I’ve been in love with Zuko forever and it’s about time I admitted it?”

“You talked to Katara, didn’t you.” Aang chuckles sheepishly. Sokka nods, a feeling of dread creeping down his back. “Yeah, we kind of figured out you like him a while ago. But I do think it’s great!”

“You would,” Sokka mutters under his breath. There aren’t many things Aang doesn’t find great. Then, a horrible thought hits him. “...do you think Toph and Suki also know?”

“Not sure.” Aang looks pensive for a moment. “Zuko doesn’t though.”

Isn’t that just great.

*

So apparently Sokka has been walking around practically making heart eyes at Zuko without even realising it himself? That’s embarrassing. Humiliating, really. Naturally, that means he must go ask Toph if she’s noticed, or more like to confirm that she has.

Toph is in her room, idly bending literally anything with metal in her vicinity. She’s gotten scary good at it over the years and would be a formidable opponent if anyone was stupid enough to challenge her into an earthbending battle, but Sokka is also endlessly intrigued by her skills because imagine the _possibilities_ , all the things he could build with her help -

“What do you want, Snoozles?”

“Oh! Uh.” He clears his throat. “I kinda had a revelation last night, and. I think I might be in love with Zuko.”

Toph snorts. “Tell me something new.”

Sokka sighs in defeat. “How long have you known?”

“A while. You’re not exactly subtle.”

“Wh- I didn’t even realise it until yesterday, how could I have been ‘not subtle’ about it?!”

“Just because you weren’t aware of your feelings doesn’t mean they weren’t there.” Toph grins and there’s a sharp, almost dangerous, edge to it. “The next person to hear about your feelings should be Sparky, don’t you think? He deserves to know.”

He swallows. “...I’m getting there.”

*

Well, if everyone else knows, Suki must too. And Sokka must be a masochist because he decides to tell her in person anyway.

“I think I might be in love with Zuko.”

Suki rolls her eyes, amused. “Katara probably already told you this but about time.”

He was, like, 99.9% sure she’d say that and he’s still upset about it. “Come on, did literally everyone else figure out my feelings before I did?”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure Zuko hasn’t.”

“That’s the one thing that would make my life easier!”

Suki pats his shoulder. “That’s rough, buddy.”

“I regret telling you about that _so much_.”

*

“I think I’m in love with you.” Saying it out loud is - scary. Like, absolutely terrifying. But he has to do it or he’ll never know peace again. Sokka stares at his reflection in the pond.

“I think I’m in love with you.” What kind of a face might Zuko make when he hears those words? Will he be surprised? Everyone else seems to think so at least. But will it the good kind of surprised, where he’s been secretly hoping to hear it and will be elated? Or will he reject Sokka, kindly but firmly, and then their friendship will be damaged beyond repair?

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“Are you talking to the turtleducks or your reflection?”

Sokka nearly overbalances into the pond at the sound of Zuko’s voice, just managing to pull himself back before disaster, but his heart is still beating very wildly in his chest when he turns around. Zuko is in full Fire Lord regalia, looking absolutely stunning with a small, amused smile pulling at his lips.

“Or are you maybe practising confessing to someone?”

Oh yeah, that he is. But if he says so, Zuko will inevitably ask who it is and that’s - Sokka’s not sure he’s ready for that yet.

...or? Should he just take a chance and confess right here and now? Hm. “And if I were?”

Zuko’s face does something weird but it’s so quick Sokka doesn’t have time to decipher it. The smile remains but it’s slightly strained now, like he’s forcing it. “I would wish you good luck with whoever it is.”

 _And what if it’s you?_ Sokka sighs, turning back to the turtleducks. Maybe he’ll just take this secret to the grave, spare himself the potential heartbreak. _That also means missing out on a potential happy ending_ , a traitorous part of his brain whispers into his ear. Sokka decides to ignore it.

Zuko steps closer, seating himself next to Sokka. His robes settle around him in an elegant heap. “Are you nervous about confessing?”

To one of his best friends? Who also just so happens to be the literal Fire Lord? “Yes.”

“Whoever it is would be a fool if they turned you down,” Zuko says with such conviction that it rattles Sokka to his core.

 _Are you calling yourself a fool?_ Not that Sokka knows Zuko would turn him down but you know. If he were to do that. Which is likely.

“It’s... complicated,” Sokka replies at length. Because it is. Fuck, why couldn’t he have remained oblivious to his own feelings forever? Or better yet, never fallen for Zuko in the first place. Yeah, if he’s going to be making wishes, the second one is infinitely better.

“Is it someone I know?”

Sokka nearly falls into the pond again because _what_? “Uh. Why?”

Zuko shrugs, as if he doesn’t really care, but that too looks forced. “Maybe I could help.”

“I don’t know about that.” Sokka sighs again. “I haven’t decided if I’m going to actually confess or not.”

“Oh.” Zuko considers that in silence for a few moments. “Why not?”

Later, Sokka will insist he took a calculated risk. In the moment, though, he has no idea what happens. Possession, maybe? “Would you still be friends with me if I told you I was in love with you and you didn’t feel the same?”

What, and he can’t emphasise this enough, the _fuck_.

Zuko makes a sound that sounds suspiciously like choking. “Is that - is that a rhetorical question or are you actually telling me you’re in love with me?”

Oh no, what has he _done_. Sokka can barely keep himself from just bolting up and fleeing to his room. Zuko’s clothes don’t look like they’re made for running, Sokka’s pretty sure he could outrun him. And then maybe he should leave the Fire Nation entirely, just to be safe.

“...Sokka?”

Well. Zuko wants an actual answer so maybe he can at least see this till the end. “The second one?”

Another choking sound. Sokka is too scared to turn to Zuko so instead he keeps his eyes fixed on the pond where a mother turtleduck is slowly drifting in the water, followed by her babies. Sokka wishes he were one of the ducklings, free of the mortifying ordeal of being a human with human feelings and, consequently, human problems.

Zuko’s robes rustle gently as he moves. “Sokka.”

Sokka tenses. “What.”

“Can you look at me?”

“Why.”

“Please?”

Sokka is so scared of what he might find but Zuko’s voice is gentle, pleading, he can’t say no to that kind of tone -

Zuko is smiling, all soft and happy, and once again _just for Sokka_. “I think I’m in love with you too.”

(Later, Sokka will find out that their friends had all figured out Zuko loved him too and were about to interfere to get them to finally confess to each other and he’ll want to yell at them for causing him, no, him and Zuko both, unnecessary heartache. But for now, he can lean in and pull Zuko into his arms, the guards stationed in the yard be damned, and hold him there until their hearts are beating in sync. And if he steals a kiss somewhere there, well. The guards are duly averting their gazes and the turtleducks certainly won’t tell anyone.)

**Author's Note:**

> i actually started writing this in like uhh November of last year? so yeah, not written for Zukka week specifically but friends to lovers happens to be one of my absolute favourite tropes so i decided to finally finish this lol
> 
> anyway, I'm doing only two days for zukka week bc real life sucks and also bc none of the other prompts really inspired me. i did start working on a hurt/comfort piece but that won't get done until like April probably. something to look forward to i guess?? 
> 
> find me on tumblr @[unenomainen](https://unenomainen.tumblr.com/)


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